bluefluff's blue fluff

Circles

2007-12-11T02:53:00.000Z

I've recently started using WatchThat Page to track the blogs I'm interested in - blame TU120 with its relentless "you-will-try-new-tools" mantra! A leftover entry from my ECA topic was the Guardian Unlimited Books Blog... don't normally have time for that sort of reading, but hadn't got round to trimming the watch list....
Anyway, today this item caught my eye: Boris Vian: Still spitting from beyond the grave. I hadn't given Boris Vian a thought since about 1970, when I first came across his anti-war song Le Déserteur while I was staying with a French family on an exchange visit, heard it on the radio, borrowed my exchange partner's book of Vian poems & learned it by heart. It played a part in crystallising my vague intention to study French at university & thus helped shape my life... What's strange, given how poor my memory is these days, is that the song came straight back into my head & I knew I had to track it down. Google found me this page all about it. (It's one of those pages that breaks all the rules about good website design with glorious panache, but you don't care, because it's the work of an enthusiast & has the content you're looking for - even if it is mostly in Italian!)
Minutes later, I was enjoying this: YouTube image montage with the original 1954, banned from radio, recording. Musially, it has dated, but the sentiments are as fresh as ever.
The other, bigger circle is that we have a daughter, our last to fly the nest, planning to go to the same university we attended, to study - languages. Last week we attended an open day there & it was an odd mixture of nostalgia & sobering realisation of the passage of time.
She's the same age I was when I first heard Vian.

On the meaning of questions

2007-10-02T03:13:00.001+01:00

I've just been invited to complete a survey designed "to help the University understand how ALs [Associate Lecturers, ie tutors] feel about their role".
I'm at a loss to understand the difference between these three items, which I'm asked to indicate my agreement or disagreement with:

Taking any one of them separately, I struggle to understand exactly what it means. But moving from one to the next, I struggle even more to see the difference between them.

Is there meant to be a difference between "my personal values" & "the things that I value in life"? I suppose I could take a literal interpretation of "things" as "physical objects", in which case maybe the OU would not be expected to share my fondness for pizza with double jalapeno or my collection of Wildhearts CDs. Does the OU value "things" in this sense at all?

I suppose there might be a distinction between "provide a good fit", "match" & "are very similar to" in that they could represent points on a scale running from identity, via passing resemblance, to complementary opposites (in which case the 3-1-2 ordering of statements could be a ploy to check my consistency of response).

Who knows?

For what it's worth, I decided that my attitude to all three was "disagree slightly". If I'd been thinking more clearly, I would have asked awkward questions about the assumption that the OU & I are mutually exclusive categories.

Tony Storey RIP

2007-09-22T04:13:00.000+01:00

No, you wont know him, but he was instrumental in introduucing me to computers, almost 20 years ago. I can't even remember why, now, but he & his wife used to lend my son an Amstrad computer over the weekend - one of those early machines with a green & black display, that you booted from a floppy disk. After the kids had gone to bed, I used to word-process my handouts on it & play Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (text-only version, of course).

Tony was always around. He was involved with the village school, the doctor's surgery, the parish council, the village magazine, Neighbourhood Watch... Sometimes unkindly mocked by the local children, he was truly larger than life.

We were all shocked to learn from the village magazine that Tony had passed away suddenly last month, at the age of 64. We'd been away on holiday & missed the news, so I don't know what was said in the local paper by way of tributes. But I found this self-portrait on Amazon, where he'd written a review.

In my own words
I am 57 years old and live in Healing, a village of some 2,200 population, about 3 miles from Grimsby in North East Lincolnshire, UK. I am Chairman of the Parish Council and Neighbourhood Watch Co-ordinator (are there Neighbourhood Watches in the US?).My religion is Soto Zen Buddhism, with a generous measure of Taoism and a sprinkling of Pure Land Buddhism.My other main interest is Astronomy, with the emphasis on Astrophysics, Cosmology and SETI. I have been married to Anne for 34 years next month; we have no children but six cats with, at the moment four kittens. I retired from full-time teaching in 1993 but still teach regularly on a supply basis, that is, I go into schools to cover for staff who are ill or on courses. I have chosen a picture of a butterfly because of Chuang Tzu, one of the other great Taoist writers, who dreamed that he was a butterfly. On awakening, he thought, ' Was I Chuang Tzu, dreaming that I was a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly dreaming that I am Chuang Tzu'?

Tony

R.I.P.

There's a lot of it about

2007-09-15T04:07:00.000+01:00

Further to my previous post...

Not to mention:

Become a blogger & get free German lessons!

We're all Europeans now!

2007-09-14T22:52:00.001+01:00

Here's the message Blogger gave me as I was publishing the last post:

Vielen Dank :-)

Ee bah gum!

2007-09-14T22:27:00.000+01:00

It's nice to see from this story that the BBC is taking to heart the campaign launched this summer to preserve the Yorkshire dialect.

Nor can this be dismissed as a mere isolated typo. The same expression is proudly used twice on the section's front page:

(I really think it has to be deliberate, as the writer later refers conventionally to "Its learning facilities", so s/he knows the difference between it/its/it's.)

Bluefluff 2.0

2007-09-14T03:37:00.000+01:00

Inspired by Martin Weller's slidecast, I've started a new blog.

It's not really a case of "Bluefluff is dead - long live Bluefluff" because I'll still be blogging here, too. It's just that part of me needed to move on :-)

Metadiscussion

2007-08-09T02:46:00.000+01:00

I'd forgotten this useful term, but it popped back into my head tonight after yet another tour of the OU forums I read, thinking "yes, but where's the substance?" as interminable discussions about discussions unfolded.

These metadiscussions relate to both form & content. As far as form is concerned, they are typically prompted by a contributor's use of a particular font that others find difficult to read, but can just as well be about the message order, or the correct attribution of material quoted from previous posts, or the amount of quoted material, or any number of similar issues. As far as content is concerned, it's often humour that proves to be the flashpoint - a sarcastic remark that's resented, a joke that treads on sensitive ground, a light-hearted riposte that's read literally & interpreted as deadly serious. A common second cause of contention is the scope of discussion, in particular the desirable or permissible ratio of chat & banter to serious course-related debate.

Form metadiscussions usually peter out into conciliatory statements about how we're all different & no single message format can suit everyone. Content metadiscussions tend to flare into high-minded exchanges about political correctness & freedom of speech, & can smoulder for weeks or months.

It occurred to me that the prevalence of metadiscussion is perhaps the single most significant difference between online & face to face discussions. Discussions round a table don't often founder on disagreements about speaking order or voice volume (though those can be factors in formal/official meetings). Nor do they usually need more than a couple of minutes to divert into joky/trivial/anecdotal asides & return - without recriminations - to the topic.

None of this is new of course - either the phenomenon or analysis of it - as this commentary in a study from the early days of Internet discussion groups shows,

The lightbulb joke is as relevant now as it was when I first read it ten years ago!

A day of two halves

2007-07-18T03:40:00.000+01:00

First there was the unpleasant prospect of combining two phobias - travelling alone on public transport & going to the dentist. The famous English Summer gave me a 'get out of jail free' card on the first, as a thunderstorm hit just as I was due to leave...the 10 minute walk to the bus stop just wasn't feasible with all that crash-bashing & the sky emptying itself, so I chickened out & phoned for a taxi. Some of the recently flooded roads were almost impassible, so I didn't feel too guilty. The dentist appointment resolved itself into come-back-next-month for tooth-saving under sedation. So that's OK then. (I know, what a wimp!)

In part 2 I got back to normal: eating, working, communicating in joined up sentences, that sort of thing. Continued my dashing ahead with Latin while there are no TMAs to mark - laughed at the ablative of instrument & spat in the face of comparative & superlative adverbs. Don't reckon much to how Mercury is duping Sosia (not to mention what Jupiter's getting up to with Amphitruo's wife) but I'm sure it will all work out in the end.

Oh, the ants are back...

Another reason

2007-07-16T05:07:00.000+01:00

for the paucity of Latin-related posts...

I've been spending lots of time on Facebook. There's a whole Facebook culture that I really hesitate to address at 5am, but what I particularly enjoy about it, beyond the basics of making new connections with people you already know, is the richness & flexibility... so many levels on which you can interact!

Why there's not much Latin here

2007-07-15T02:31:00.001+01:00

Despite early enthusiasm for pots of gold, my current OU course isn't really lending itself to blogging. I'm trundling along nicely with it, pleasantly surprised by how much of my schooldays Latin is still lurking in the depths of memory (unlike 2005's Greek, which has reverted to 'all Greek to me' status with alarming speed). But I'm somehow disinclined to make excited posts about rediscovering the perfect indicative deponent or forming irregular adverbs. Next up is Unpredictable Principal Parts. I think that's another one for quiet private enjoyment :-)

One for the smokers

2007-07-03T03:48:00.001+01:00

You may already have seen this audio slideshow - it's over a fortnight old now. Yes, it's politically incorrect, easy to dismiss as a flawed argument & potentially distressing to anyone whose personal experiences don't tally with Sillitoe's, but I still think it's worth watching. Hit the Play button, & see what you think.

Benefits of Insomnia

2007-06-15T04:37:00.000+01:00

You get to read stuff like this from fellow insomniacs. TRT's Knackered Knarrative had me ROFLing from the title onwards....

In the beginning was the word

2007-06-03T15:55:00.000+01:00

So I was just going to post an irreverent comment on Nogbad's story about the creationist museum - but then I noticed the word verification:

Well, it is Sunday...

The long & short of it

2007-05-26T23:41:00.000+01:00

Every so often, when I'm reading OU forums, somebody mentions the famous quote about only writing such a long letter because there wasn't time to write a shorter one. It's attributed variously to Mark Twain, 'some French guy", 'an classical writer'... Usually I pass it by, though if anybody asks directly who said it, I look it up & then promptly forget again!

This time I'm making a note. It was Blaise Pascal.

I'm also recording this rather lovely blog entry where the ins & outs of its attribution are explored.

The blog, Notes from Classy's Kitchen, is so called because it's written by Claus Dahl & hosted on a computer in his kitchen. In Copenhagen. Hence the logo:

which refers cheekily to another of Denmark's famous exports.

Some of my colleagues have just been debating whether blogging necessarily tends to lead to self-indulgent rambling. I couldn't possibly comment.

Paris

2007-05-21T02:16:00.000+01:00

Well - better late than never!
Paris more than lived up to expectations. Some personal highlights:

Mmmmm food :-)
Copious breakfasts - not at all how I remember le petit déjeuner as a grudging affair of dry toast & greasy coffee...
Croque-monsieur "paysanne" made with Auvergne blue cheese...
Vietnamese nougat - think concentrated Turkish delight, studded with almonds & rolled in sesame seeds...

Mmmm art :-)

We "did" the Louvre (only got lost once - stranded in the Etruscan statues - then went round the escalators twice trying to get back in, but that was my own fault for thinking I could nip out for a quick fag...) & the Orsay. Bypassed the Mona Lisa & grew a little weary of massed cherubs & bared bosoms, but on the whole it was rewarding. I'll blog properly about the art another time!

Green wheelie bins with yellow lids!

Disappointingly, the one outside our hotel was common or garden green.

Chasing buses with Pirates of the Caribbean ("Jusqu'au bout du monde") posters on the back. Didn't manage to collect a full set, but it wasn't for lack of trying.

The Georges Brassens park.
Baffled a local elderly gent who was a little hard of hearing; his wife had to explain
that we were looking for the Georges Brassens bust, not a bus-stop named after him...
We found the buste eventually, & our joy knew no bounds:

So, that was Paris in the springtime... Paris in the fall has a certain ring to it :-)

Je blogge / Je blogue

2007-05-08T03:04:00.000+01:00

For a travel-phobic who hasn't been on a plane since 1975, May 8th 2007 has been something of a challenge. But this time tomorrow, I should be asleep in Paris :-)
Travelling with HazeofPink & Daydreamer. I'm reliably informed that one farts & the other snores, so it may be a less than peaceful sleep!
We intend to eat well, drink well & make the most of being able to visit art galleries without reluctant partners/children in tow. The visit was carefully timed to avoid Parisians' propensity for throwing stones at the police regardless of who wins their elections. Weather forecast isn't brilliant, but who goes to Paris to sunbathe?
Interesting linguistic phenomenon in "blogger" (to blog). French g followed by e is usually soft, so I would've expected "blogger" to work like, say, suggérer with a j sound inthe middle. But apparently not. I still want to spell it "bloguer" though. Seems I'm not alone.
Nearly at the end of my Chamber of Sorrows CD now, so I suppose I should call it a day.
[Oh look - it's a day!]

Kindablogging

2007-05-06T03:39:00.000+01:00

The lovely Sarah is blogging :-)

Quiet anniversary...

2007-04-28T02:02:00.001+01:00

Actually I missed it altogether! Last Sunday (22nd April) was the 10th anniversary of my life online. I knew it was April or May 1997, but only just got round to looking up the exact date. My goodness, what a decade!!

Snoring

2007-04-25T03:15:00.000+01:00

One of life's great mysteries, isn't it? How can somebody reach such a level of decibels, with vibrations for good measure, & not disturb themselves? Yet wake, complaining, at the tip-toe dropping of a silent garment or a mere breath?
It says a great deal for the sleeping brain's ability to filter data.

How gross am I?

2007-04-12T02:14:00.000+01:00

Oh dear. I probably shouldn't have done this. It's all TRT's fault...

You Are 80% Gross

You're pretty dirty, and there's a good change you're living in a total dump.

And your body? Not too clean either. Watch out for killer bacteria, Pig Pen!

How Gross Are You?

Words & Pictures

2007-04-07T02:33:00.000+01:00

Some of my colleagues have been getting excited about this recent report that casts doubt on the efficacity of Powerpoint presentations as a learning aid.
According to Australian Professor John Sweller:

"It is effective to speak to a diagram, because it presents information in a different form. But it is not effective to speak the same words that are written, because it is putting too much load on the mind and decreases your ability to understand what is being presented."

This really intrigued me, not because I have anything against Powerpoint as such, but because it confirmed one of my major reservations about Learning Styles theory. There are various reasons I don't get on with Learning Styles, some of which I ranted ahout last year in my H806 blog. But my dislike was first stirred up back in 2001 when I was writing materials about online learning for the OU's COROUS division. As a newcomer to the theoretical side of online learning, I was deeply sceptical of an approach that discriminated only between visual, auditory & kinaesthetic (VAK) learning styles, lumping together visual learning from words & visual learning from pictures. To my mind these were crucially distinct ways of learning, & I found it difficult to respect a theory that failed to acknowledge this. I actually devised a self-diagnostic activity to enable learners to sort out whether they were primarily 'words people' or 'pictures people' but it was dropped from the final material.

So for me the most interesting part of this latest research is the distinction it draws between 'speaking to words' & 'speaking to diagrams'. If VAK was the whole story, it wouldn't matter what mix of V+A was used, would it?

Out & about

2007-04-01T04:00:00.000+01:00

We have a few plans lined up.

25 April another gig at Nottingham Rescue Rooms, where we enjoyed Ginger a year ago. This time it's another of our regulars, Duluth band Low, promoting their latest album Drums and Guns. A sample track on MySpace captures their sparse yet provocative sound.
"Our bodies break. And the blood just spills and spills. But here we sit debating math."

30 April OU HQ to collect a teaching award. It still feels odd being "honoured" for just doing the job that I love doing, but I'll not say no to a nice Monetary Token (even if it does come to me via payroll so the govt creams off its portion before I get to play with it).

8 May Springtime in Paris :-)
First time I've been to Paris (or been in a plane, for that matter) since the 70s. I'm going with Haze of Pink & Daydreamer. They'll do the hand-holding & gallery-ID, while I do the lingo. Scary, but exciting, & a neat marriage between my first degree (French) & my OU existence. I met these two friends online during a course that was responsible for so much: their interest in Art History, my professional commitment to online learning (therefore indirectly to the award), our friendship that involves UK gallery visits & gig experiences, & then it was my degree that got me the OU job in the first place, so it all comes together :-)

Passionate Users?

2007-03-28T04:12:00.000+01:00

There's passion, & then there's perversion.

When I was studying H806, Kathy Sierra's blog, Creating Passionate Users, was one of my regular reads. So I was shocked to read this story today about how she has been temporarily forced to suspend not only her blogging, but also her real life activities, by a campaign of death threats & verbal/graphic sexual abuse.

Kathy's post on the subject, speaks for itself. So, I hope, does the outpouring of support from the international blogging community evident in the comments. (I copied these into a Word document & counted them at almost 100,000 words. I've not read them all.)

I've posted my own message of support. If you think this matters, please do the same.

Tea & smimbies

2007-03-23T23:48:00.000Z

Thanks to Nogbad for pointing out this cultural gem: Wavy Davy's ethnographical study of Lancastrian tea customs in the context of smimby history. I'm not too sure about the author's grammatical credentials, though. Most authorities recognise "smimbys" as an archaic form of the plural that fell out of common usage in the mid-17th century. Nevertheless, readers will respect Wavy Davy's enthusiastic approach to rescuing this valuable term from the neglect in which it has recently been languishing.

Est in aedibus aula*

2007-02-10T02:15:00.000Z

Or words to that effect....

I'm indulging my OU addiction after all, by signing up for a hopefully not too time-consuming level 2 Latin course. Lest this sound arrogant & dismissive of the effort involved in learning Latin, I should add that I'm cheating, since I've already done it once before. OK, it was some number of decades ago, but alarmingly I remember it rather better than the ancient Greek I did in 2005. "Oh I wish I'd looked after me brain cells."

Anyway, this week I've been learning about slaves & slave-girls, & what the cooks & slave girls got up to in the house of the old man (who was a miserly old man) & jolly interesting it is too. Last time I did Latin, it was all spears & shields & bee-keeping. I suspect we missed out the good bits.

For a start, we never used to pronounce it with a Rene & Renata style pseudo-Italian accent, like they do on the course CD. Which ties in neatly with my current favourite blog, Non-working monkey. Who is currently working. Alas, nothing is as straightforward as it seems.

*In the house, there is a pot.
Well, there would be, wouldn't there?

Puzzling sensory distortions

2007-01-25T03:30:00.000Z

(1)
It didn't feel as cold tonight when I went out for my last half cigarette on the front step. So why were the puddles frozen? Their odd appearance struck me first. They were kind of striped in an angular way, like lying down icicles. Which indeed is what they proved to be when I poked them with my toe.
But I've stood there & shivered many a windy/sleety night, when the puddles were simply accumulations of wet water. This time it felt quite mild by comparison. On the other hand, it was calm. I suspect it's something to do with Physics. I'm crap at Physics. The only time I ever got as little as 2/10 for my homework was for Physics. It still rankles. I explained the leakage of ink from a fountain pen in an aeroplane very convincingly in terms of pressure increasing the higher up you got, which squeezed out the ink. Apparently it's the opposite, & the ink sort of escapes because there's not enough pressure holding it in. Oh well.
(Never having taken a fountain pen on a plane, this concept hasn't generally troubled me.)

(2)
I thought Alan was having another heart attack. Suddenly out of the silence surrounding my late night blog reading (AFreeManInPreston) came this pained sound midway between a groan & a wail with shades of throwing up: loud, intrusive... the TV in the next room had turned itself on at full volume, obviously left on standby on some obscure digital channel that only springs into life at 3am. I bet that's something to do with Physics, too. It usually is.

Taking stock

2007-01-12T03:14:00.000Z

One of my closest friends keeps asking, of keeping a blog, "Yes, but what is it for?". I think she has a point. I don't really know what this is for.

I've become increasingly uneasy & inhibited about splurging family 'stuff' in a semi-public place. I could probably have wirtten anonymously about my husband's health, my kids' various endeavours & the like, but pretty much everyone who reads this knows who I am, & therefore who they are, & it doesn't feel right. On the other hand, I can hardly run each entry past an editorial panel to negotiate what should/should not be published! I admired TRT's blog until I found myself asking awkward questions about how the unwitting 'victim' of his posts might feel... Actually I do still admire it - he's an intelligent & witty writer - but I no longer feel any desire to emulate it.

I've also become more self-conscious (present post notwithstanding!) about inebriated late-night ramblings that people might come across - by 'people' I mean colleagues, students, family members, family members' partners/friends/acquaintances... All that 'you're my besshht mate you are - hic - & the Innernet's wunnerful innit - hic', not to mention the occasional 'I hate the world & I hate myself & I want to DIE' moments, are so embarrassingly adolescent. On the other hand, if I'm going to censor & sanitise, what's the point?

I've been looking back at Nog's posts that brought me back into the world of blogging after an initial nervous encounter that had been quickly abandoned. He wrote, back in May 2005:

I think it's an opportunity to try a different voice, it need not be responsive in the way that emails and conference postings usually are - it can be didactic, I can direct it without reference to a specific function for this area, I'm writing for an unknown audience (...) an opportunity for public introspection, a vocal meditation. So not only pompous but also self-indulgent and conceited! :-)

I've no idea whether he still feels the same way, having moved on to more specifically educational applications (as did I, with the more comfortably focused Connecting wth H806) but I'm now finding the "different voice" too ill-defined to serve any real purpose.

I'd quite like to post humorous & incisive reflections on my Daily Doings, in the manner of Non-Working Monkey. I'd also enjoy putting up a regular sarky commentary on the BBC News site's illogical & ungrammatical reports. Or I could produce a diary of My Life As An OU Tutor (with carefully anonymised references to colleagues & students). But what would it be for?

Well, that's the spare Christmas sherry finished, & if you've made it to the end of this little piece of self-indulgence, I guess you can join the ranks of "besshht mates" :-)

Moving on

2006-09-18T03:59:00.000+01:00

Didn't actually realise it had been so long since I updated this! It took a while to come round from the ECA. I fiddled with it a little more, but eventually adopted the scab philosophy (keep picking at it won't make it better).
In other developments:

Alan has his date for the angioplasty/stent procedure that should restore him to a state of health superior to pre-heart attack (he's looking forward to being able to mow the lawn without taking breaks)

"Yes, One Very Good Vehicle" (YE51 VGV) has entered our lives, a nice sedate blue Ford Mondeo with strict instructions to avoid oncoming JCBs

Lots of other boring day to day stuff that I won't inflict on my narrow readership!
Hoping to get a holiday at half term, as I've only had one day off since last September, & much as I love my job, one can have too much of a good thing.

Dunnit!

2006-09-08T04:14:00.000+01:00

Completed my H806 ECA, that is.

I've noted it in the appropriate place, in an attempt to convince myself it really is finished. All I intended to do was lodge a provisional version & go back later to tart it up, but after a few celebratory brandies I'm coming to the realisation that This Is It. Besides, if I was going to arrive at the ideal ECA, I wouldn't have started from here...
Neurotic perfectionism may have lost out, for once, & that's probably no bad thing.

Funny story

2006-08-31T03:41:00.000+01:00

Alan went to check with the next door neighbour that it was OK to go up their drive & chop down some ivy. Neighbour's son asks if there's somebody with blonde curly hair staying with us, as he noticed a Suspicious Person loitering around the garage in the early hours of the morning, causing the security lights to go on & off. But hadn't investigated any closer, because the person disappeared without doing anything more suspicious.

Last night, while I was smoking one of my surreptitious halves outside, I spotted a strange light going on & off in next door's back bedroom, & (having been told they were away for the week) suspected burglars... but didn't investigate any closer, because I managed to convince myself, by repeated observation, that it was a TV, & burglars don't generally stop to watch telly....

I suppose grey might look blonde, under security lights!!!

Close encounters of the JCB kind

2006-08-29T20:05:00.000+01:00

So, Alan was happily driving along this country lane, when along comes a JCB on the wrong side of the road, with its bucket obliterating the driver's view....

Luckily, he ducked.

Sigh. That's another of his lives ticked off.

Wot, no pizza?

2006-08-24T16:21:00.000+01:00

It's only about five years since I finally found a mnemonic that actually worked, for remembering the names of the planets. Could never get on with the mouldy jam sandwiches or any of that stuff, until one day I discovered this:

"My very energetic mother just served us nine pizzas"

It reminded me of a rare flattering photo I have of myself, & it stuck.

Now they've gone & taken away the pizza :-(

Update on the smoking

2006-08-19T03:16:00.000+01:00

I threw myself a challenge:

I'm probably deluding myself when I tell the kids it's "only" at night, "only" outdoors & "only" halves. Ask me again in a month's time!

The month is up, & at the risk of sliding into cliché, two out of three ain't bad. Still only outdoors & only halves, & haven't yet exceeded five. But that's not quite "given up", is it?

Kitchens

2006-08-18T03:29:00.000+01:00

As in, if you can't stand the heat, stay out of them.

One of my OU jobs is really turning pear-shaped on me. Something I thought I was quite good at, but am gradually being forced into the conclusion I'm actually cr*p at, because I naively assume people are nice. I should know better. I should go with Nick Cave's sentiment, "people just ain't no good". If I started from that position, I wouldn't get disappointed so often.

Oh well. I'll know next time.

Certified!!

2006-08-13T00:00:00.000+01:00

or How To Miss Reading The Small Print & Gain A Qualification Without Knowing It!

Long ago I studied T171, which was in so many ways a life-changing experience (as many of my readers know....). I've just finished the replacement course T175, as I thought my techie awareness was getting a bit tatty round the edges.

When the results came out, I thought it was about time I considered finishing off one of the various qualifications I'm partway through, instead of keep starting new ones, so I'd been psyching myself up for M150 next spring. T175 + M150 = Certificate in IT and Computing.

What I didn't realise, until I was idly playing with the OU's qualification planner tonight, was that T171 + T175 = Certificate in IT and Computing.... I've already got it!!!! Just had to go & tick a box saying I wanted to link both courses, & hey presto :-)

Sat there with a big grin on my face & then burst into tears!! (Kids think I'm certifiable, never mind certified, but never mind!) Even though I already have a BA & a doctorate from another life, there is something very, very special about having my very own OU qualification :-))

Gumball Rally

2006-08-04T23:09:00.000+01:00

I'd never encountered a gumball rally before. Apparently it's an annual international event, characterised by celebrity involvement & controversy, & inspired by a 1976 film that I'd never heard of either. The reason it was brought to my attention is that there's now a student version, in which three of daughter #2's friends are involved.
Rejoicing in the name of "GY Massive" (to which some wag will no doubt add an A before they've gone many miles) the team of Alan, Alex & Karl will set off on 3rd September for a five day fundraising dash across Europe. The lads are seeking sponsorship online at Justgiving, in aid of the gumball rally's chosen national charity (Teenage Cancer Trust) & the East Midlands' own When You Wish Upon A Star organisation.
It's probably not very environmentally responsible, but hey - it's fun & all in a good cause.
Headline in the local paper? "Students chew over gumball rally plans". You couldn't make it up :-)

Close encounters of the arachnid kind

2006-07-23T03:06:00.000+01:00

< shudder >I'm not fond of spiders at the best of times, but when they decide to run down the loo roll just as I'm unfurling it for immediate use, that really is a liberty too far! My abrupt departure from the vicinity was somewhat lacking in elegance, I'm sure. Since the beastie didn't have the decency to run away (possibly it was as stunned by the circumstances as I was) & the resident aww-bless-spider-rescuer was asleep, I had to resort to subterfuge & continued unrolling the paper (at arm's length) all the way to the floor, where the relevant sheet could be stamped on. < /shudder >
Then I re-arranged my attire, thankful that nobody had come downstairs to investigate!

Spiders & I have a working agreement, whereby I leave them alone in the garden on condition they leave me alone in the house. This one clearly hadn't read the rule book.

Things that don't make sense #3

2006-07-21T22:17:00.000+01:00

Here we go again...

"A toddler was left sleeping on a bus in Leicester for more than two hours after being accidentally left behind," shouts this BBC news story, in bold font.

How terrible, poor little mite, etc., etc.
But hang on:

The child fell asleep just minutes after the bus left St Margaret's bus station.
He woke up five miles away in Groby and the driver Ishak Kachwal found him at the back of the vehicle.

Now, either buses drive v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y in Leicestershire, or that toddler wasn't really asleep for "more than two hours". In fact, subtract the "just minutes" from the time it takes to travel five miles, & the sleeping time was more like two minutes?

As a parent, I have no comment whatsoever to make on this bit:

Kian's parents only noticed he was missing when he did not join their four other children for pizza at home.

Jarvis connects!

2006-07-21T01:37:00.000+01:00

Ten years ago, he was expressing what so many of us felt about the obscene self-serving suffer-the-little-children antics of one Michael Jackson at the Brit Awards.
(So he was pissed. So he's embarrassed & fed up with people still going on about it. Doesn't alter the fact that for many of us it was a defining moment.)

July 2006 & le Jarv hits MySpace :-)

Here's what the man has to say:

Welcome friends, to my humble little corner of the Internet. As you can see from the photo over there I have been computing to my heart's content for some time & now I want to share the experience with you. Because now I have something to share.
If all the technical bits & pieces are working properly then you should be able to hear a new song I've been working on. I wanted you to hear it now cos It's exactly 1 year since that Live-8 thing & it was the night of that event that I wrote this song. I apologise for all the swearing but sometimes that's the only thing that seems appropriate.
It's in no way a criticism of Geldof & co. but I remember thinking at the time: "Where does engaging with these politicians/businessmen really get you?" - ( 12 months on & the cunts still haven't paid up as far as I can make out) - maybe the problem is something more ..... fundamental. Anyway, what do I know? I'm just a pampered rock star - but at least I think it's good to discuss this stuff. Don't you?
Let me know what you think.Oh yeah - & thanks for visiting. I hope this is just the start of a beautiful relationship.
love, Jarvis xx

Love the ampersands! He got that from me, you know....

His song sets out 'so-so', not quite poetic, not quite musically striking, then an hour later you find you're still humming it. Listen to the lyrics.

Metaphorically speaking...

2006-07-20T01:38:00.000+01:00

I'm about to click that "Register Now" button.
I'd had my eye on T185 for a while, & today I noticed that its final presentation is coming up in October this year. I've just accepted some extra work for October/November, but I think I would regret letting this one slip away. The course has its own taster website, & some of the sample materials, such as this history of metaphor, are just too intriguing to resist. I'm familiar with the power of metaphor from a literary perspective, but T185 promises to examine it from other angles - systems theory (which I had a taste of in T175) for instance, & cognitive science.

It used to be thought that although metaphors were useful for livening up what you said, they didn't do much else. But in the last couple of decades it has begun to be recognised that far from just being decorative, metaphor, and its underlying imagery, are crucial building blocks of everyday thinking and language. They shape our ideas (positively and negatively) and even our perceptions, in very fundamental ways.

Despite its T prefix, it looks like a U course, creatively interdisciplinary. Nothing nasty like CMAs or an exam, either, just a portfolio to prove you've joined in, & an ECA reviewing what you've learned.
I think it'll be fun :-)

Compromise, or cheating?

2006-07-17T01:59:00.000+01:00

I think I know the answer, really....
Haven't quite given up smoking :-(
Took to sneaking out into the garden in the early hours of the morning (ie late at night) for half a cigarette & of course it made me feel so much more human that it soon develped into a habit that's now two or three sneakings each night. Alan actually suggested that I should carry on, & that 5 a day wouldn't be the end of the world, provided I didn't smoke them anywhere near him. Hmm.
I'm probably deluding myself when I tell the kids it's "only" at night, "only" outdoors & "only" halves. Ask me again in a month's time!

Picking up the threads

2006-06-23T02:45:00.000+01:00

At least, I think so.

Life is resuming some of its old rhythms. Alan's allowed to take up driving again, gradually, & since Tuesday has been taking daughter #2 to her 'paying off student overdraft' summer job a few miles down the road. We're debating whether to brave Asda at weekend, or stick to the novelty of Internet grocery delivery a while longer. Even had a little row the other day, which is a sure sign of things getting back to normal :-)

Meanwhile daughter #3 has completed her GCSEs & daughter #1 has completed her degree (but still waiting for results). Son has a job interview tomorrow before heading in our direction for a long weekend of tv footie & food. He's contrived to take leave from his current job for the whole second round - nice to see that maths degree isn't going to waste!

So generally speaking the next generation are heading into the future where they belong & we're sitting back taking stock of the last month & wondering how many of the threads we really want to pick up. Some of them are probably just entanglements we can do without.

No rash decisions, though, until we've negotiated summer's cardiac rehabilitation, physiotherapy, angioplasty-with-a-stent-or-two & renewed recovery. That's enough to be going on with.

Update

2006-06-07T03:44:00.000+01:00

I should be in bed, but 1. I owe people an update & 2. it's kind of scary but exhilarating to be out here in cyberland so late without my trusty cigarettes.
Since my last report there have been lots of angio things. Look them up if you like - plenty of sites around with pics & even animations. Alan had an angiogram, which told him he needs an angioplasty. That's the step before heart bypass surgery, & it sometimes works. He'll be walking round with £1200 worth of titanium stuffed inside an artery. Date uncertain, but within 3 months. Holiday cancelled.
So he came home from that test, late Friday. Saturday proceeded in an orderly fashion, but Sunday was spent in A&E. Surprising how closely angina pain followed by over-reaction to blood pressure reducing medication can imitate a second heart attack. Monday saw us seeking to escape a limbo world where "any time now" means "in several hours if you're lucky". When I win the lottery I'll buy Grimsby Hospital an extra pharmacist so they don't have to keep people wating 5 hours for a prescription that turns out to be the same bag of tablets you went in with the day before & had nicked off you.
So today Alan, duly chastened at having overdone things in the garden on Saturday, had a nice quiet day in front of tv. Not. We brace ourselves for morning.

Out of silence

2006-06-01T04:25:00.000+01:00

Comes not silence. Or something.
It's been a while since I felt able to communicate publicly. It's amazing what 30 years of habit can do. Like fix the association of marking & smoking so that one simply doesn't happen without the other. Quite scary to register the extent of chemical dependency.
I think I'm winning, though.
Alan put it quite succinctly: "You have an alternative. You can carry on smoking. And kill me."
Not subtle, but probably true.
So, to stop being cryptic:
Midnight 22/23 May 2006: Alan had a "significant" heart attack. I'm never going to forget those moments of watching him flake out on the bathroom floor, drenched in vomit, or mumbling semi-consciously in the ambulance, as the paramedics noted his "not detectable" blood pressure.
The family rallied round, then gradually dispersed again, back to their own lives. I've tried to pick up the threads. Torn between the profound & the trivial. Struggling over nicotine addiction is so selfish & petty in the face of potentially fatal atherosclerosis.
sounxte ftgkgjfjearhhhyyhhyhy,#yes. orsieky.l

Things that don't make sense #2

2006-05-16T01:42:00.000+01:00

The BBC today tells the sad tale of a bloke who turned up for a job interview & ended up being interviewed live on air about the Apple court case, having been mistaken for a visiting expert. Poor bloke, what a dreadful & embarrassing experience for him... but... here's the mystery:

The producer asked for Guy Kewney, editor of Newswireless.net, who was due to be interviewed about the Apple vs Apple court case.
After being pointed in Mr Goma's direction by a receptionist, the producer - who had seen a photo of the real expert - checked: "Are you Guy Kewney?"
The economics and business studies graduate answered in the affirmative and was whisked up to the studio.

So, why did Mr Goma agree that he was Mr Kewney, when he wasn't?

PS What's a "data support cleanser" & do you have to know who you are, to be one?

Things that don't make sense #1

2006-05-14T21:45:00.000+01:00

First in an occasional series...

These aren't big questions, about war & peace or stuff like that - just little niggles. I keep finding myself reading news stories & ending up confused. Some things just don't make sense. Here's today's:

The BBC reports a house fire, caused by leaving a crystal ornament on a windowsill, where it magnified the sun's rays, setting fire to the curtains & windowsill. The local fire service warned people not to leave such ornaments where they could be subject to strong sunlight.

So far, so good. But here's the bit I don't get:

The fire was spotted by the owners of the house in Chapel Lane, Chew Stoke, when they came home on Saturday night.
They managed to put out the flames using a portable extinguisher.

The sun doesn't shine at night, does it? So how could the fire only just have started - still minor enough to put out with a domestic fire extinguisher - when they returned home on Saturday night? Or even on Saturday evening?

Back to front

2006-05-11T03:32:00.000+01:00

So now, people are so scared by the advice to put babies on their backs to sleep, that they're not letting them play on their fronts....makes you wonder how the human race ever survived before we had experts.
Maybe instead of worrying about flat heads, we should be worrying about pointy heads.

Pam on John

2006-05-11T00:14:00.000+01:00

I don't normally read Tory politicians' blogs, but circumstances directed me off my usual track to collect this little gem! Pam Ayres' take on the John Prescott story appeared in the Telegraph earlier this week, but isn't available on their site. Reproduced here in case it soon isn't available on Mr Dale's site, either....

I am ready Mr Prescott
You can take me in your arms
All these years I've waited
To experience your charms
So fling aside those trousers
I hope they're quick release
For all that hanky panky's
Made you clinically obese

I like a man of substance
I like a man of size
Especially when I'm measuring
The bags beneath their eyes
If anyone insulted me
I have no doubt at all
You'd leap to my defence
And punch the blighter through the wall

I like you Mr Prescott
A constant watch I keep
To see you on TV
Sat next to Tony, fast asleep
So I'm waiting Mr Prescott
My toothbrush in my bag
To see your chiselled jaw
Behind the wheel of either Jag

A man like you is dangerous
A man like you is trouble
Just like a row of houses
You demolished me to rubble
With one hand on the tiller
As steady as a rock
And the other disappearing
Up the secretary's frock!

Our Austin again

2006-05-03T11:37:00.000+01:00

Another instalment from the Grimsby MP's blog.

Blogging has been temporarily suspended for reconstruction work. On me. I'm still on painkillers but that gives me a much happier view of New Labour. I'm using the same brand as Tony so I know exactly how he feels - or doesn't - but I hope they don't have the same effect on my hair.

Last week was peak pain killer time. Prezza is near his three shags and you're out limit (he's actually well past it but the others kept quiet so as not to get expelled from the women's movement). Now he's in a position where he can't go because it's too humiliating but he can't accomplish anything by staying because he's so humiliated. Yet at least he got more from his Clinton moment than Clinton. I've always been his admirer since YTV days. But he is a serial groper and should keep his hands to himself.

& so on & so forth for another thousand words or so!

Low, My Latest Novel

2006-04-30T22:52:00.000+01:00

No, I've not been taken over by prolonged exposure to the OU's creative writing community... My Latest Novel was Low's support band last night at Birmingham's Academy 2.

Very much our sort of venue: a stage, a bar, a floor - what more could you want? We'd bagged our usual places at the front, determined not to be shouldered out before the main act & quite prepared to be subjected to whatever weirdness the promoters wanted to inflict on us.

This was Scottish weirdness of the highest order. I wouldn't say they quite lived up to their billing as Glasgow's answer to Arcade Fire, but they were certainly different, stomping their way through folksy rants (The Reputation of Ross Francis), winsome interludes (Learning Lego: "crushed by a plastic lego man" was possibly lyric of the night & the melodica added a certain je ne sais quoi) & the wonderfully pseudo-gothic When We Were Wolves. We were genuinely disappointed at the set being cut short after keyboardist Laura was taken ill.

Low would have been worth the wait anyway. It was great to see Alan Sparhawk looking more in touch with some kind of reality than February 05 (when, as we now know, he was on the verge of a breakdown induced by overdoing the dope). We were treated to a relaxed & polished set of mostly familiar numbers, the usual mix of exquisite close harmonies, guitar effects & enigmatic lyrics, including a whole new song built around repetitions of "there's not enough for two - Sarah, you're lazy". The poetry's in the sound, not the words....
Pity they chose to play 'encore bingo' (you know, the sort where they pretend to take requests, but wait till somebody shouts out the titles they were going to play anyway!)

The evening was nicely rounded off by supper back at HOP's house & discovery of Garstang Blue - not another band, but a blue version of Lancashire cheese: inspired!

All politicians should be like this

2006-04-28T04:03:00.000+01:00

I think I've blogged about Austin Mitchell's blog before - if I haven't, I should have!
His latest Commons Diary is a riot - personal health anecdotes mixed with sarky political asides, & that's before this week's juicy scandals.
Sample:

Tuesday 4 April
My operation called Vertebroplasty was developed in Glasgow, though not with the encouragement of Tommy McAvoy who's probably suspicious of anything that builds backbones in backbenchers. Because it's experimental I can go in early on the NHS at the Chelsea and Westminster to allow a new team to develop its skills. Unfortunately that means losing the recess. Anything to get rid of this pain.
Clutching my little bag of illegals ??? I'm told the Chelsea and Westminster joke 16 times before I even reach the ward. Why are the cities that way round? Because if Westminster came first it would be the Royal WC. This is going to be hard.
Put in a ward of six where most stare stolidly ahead, just like the Whips' Office. I'm attached to a drip feed which now has to trundle everywhere behind me. Probably it's sending signals to Tommy.

Perhaps I just have a strange sense of humour, but I love Austin's diaries. I hope he's saving them up to publish when he retires.

That was fun while it lasted :-)

2006-04-24T02:53:00.000+01:00

Just finished & submitted my T175 ECA. It was quite amazing, looking back through the course, to see how much we covered. Pity it didn't generate the same kind of community as T171, but in terms of content I have no complaints! Highly recommended if you want to bring yourself up to speed on new developments in ICT :-)

Love-hate

2006-04-22T08:29:00.000+01:00

That's my relationship with computers! Just been up all night attempting to clear a quite remarkable collection of malware acquired through a certain family member's browsing. What particularly intrigues me is that after installing 41 (!) Windows updates, the reboot immediately went into a sequence of further updates, which in turn initiated the installation of SP2 (yes, I know) & then installing the beta Microsoft anti-spyware program set off another round, & when I finally gave up & shut the computer down (not this one) there were 7 more updates to collect!!
Despite all that, & many hours of AVscanning/SystemRestoreDisabling/Enabling/Adawaring/Spyboting/Windows Defendering/Hijackthising, we still have one persistent beastie that won't reveal itself except by throwing up a second browser window with dodgy content whenever IE is run.
Grrrr! Just answered the door to the postie & he probably thought I was up early, not late...

DVD format wars

2006-04-19T16:47:00.000+01:00

As predicted in some of the sources we looked at for a recent TMA, the HD-DVD/Blu-Ray battle is hitting the shops.

That's one of the things I've most enjoyed about T175... learning about the news before it happens :-)

Here's another one that didn't surprise us: Alton Towers is planning trials of a camera system that tracks visitors via RFID tags. The consumer-friendly bonus is that you'll get to buy a DVD of your day!

Remind me...

2006-04-19T02:22:00.000+01:00

...that I really do prefer ECAs to exams, even though I've just spent nearly the whole day on a little itsy-bitsy T175 question that's only worth 20 marks!! Actually it was quite useful, as it forced me to comb back through all the notes & activities I've done since last October, picking the most suitable ones to reflect on. Some were like old acquaintances, but others I would have denied ever having set eyes on before, even though it was me wot wrote them. Mainly the ones with s*ms in, it thas to be said. I didn't reflect on any of those - just shuddered briefly & moved on.

Back to H806 tomorrow. If I post about that, it's likely to have Big Words in. I like Big Words :-)

Gigging again!

2006-04-18T03:15:00.000+01:00

The gang of four are off to see Low before the end of the month... it all happened very quickly! Arranged over the weekend via late night text messages :-)

We saw Low in February 2005 - my first live gig for several years & part of my 'recovery programme'. The band went into crisis after that European tour & it was unclear whether they would ever tour or record again. I know it sounds corny, but we felt very privileged to have experienced one of their last live shows. Rather like Wildhearts/Ginger (though quite far removed musically) they're a sound that you either get or you don't. We get them :-)

Incidentally, they're from Duluth, Bob Dylan's home town. Must be something in the water!

Mmm, tasty!

2006-04-17T03:03:00.000+01:00

Well, it seems to be, for the baby worms!
I think mine would prefer Easter eggs....

Went to Asda!

2006-04-16T02:10:00.000+01:00

No, not usually a cause for public celebration, I agree, but it was my first outing for 8 days & therefore deserves blogging. I didn't actually plan to stay indoors for 8 days... it just sort of happened. There was no compelling reason to go anywhere, & I'd missed last weekend's shopping trip by not getting to bed till 5am & being charitably left to sleep. I've been in an introspective slump (wouldn't call it depression) for a couple of weeks now. Easter came along quite handily, filling the house with kids & music & life again.

postprocessualism

2006-04-14T18:08:00.000+01:00

Stumbled across this one by accident this afternoon while studying the theory of intranet development (as you do). That belongs over on my H806 blog, but the rather dry article I was working on had used the term "processual" in relation to looking at intranet development as a process rather than a one-off event. I'd never met the word before & dashed off to Google to see how common a piece of jargon it was. I was slightly startled to find 3 million hits, but even more startled to see the top hits all related to archaeology.

It seems the world's archaeologists are divided into two camps: processualists & postprocessualists. The first group (predominant in the USA) see archaeology in scientific, objective terms & locate it in their universities alongside anthropology. The second group (predominant in Europe) see archaeology in humanistic, subjective terms & locate it in their universities alongside history. The "post" is derived partly from their alignment with postmodern theory, with its emphasis on the relative & provisional nature of "truth".

One point in particular in the Wikipedia article on postprocessual archaeology struck me:

Postprocessual archaeologists state that personal biases inevitably affect the very questions archaeologists ask and direct them to the conclusions they are predisposed to believe.
While this may sound as [sic] a vague theoretical idea, it has definite consequences in the actual practice of archaeological fieldwork. In order to collect data and analyse it, the archaeologist must first decide which questions they want to ask.

This was exactly the approach taken in my last-but-one OU course, Homer: Poetry and Society, a lovely mixture of literature & archaeology. I wondered why there was such an obsession with "framing the questions". It was perfectly understandable at a common sense level, but I had no idea it was a diluted version of a Big Academic Debate.

Nice little spot of serendipity there :-)

Internet addict, moi?

2006-04-14T03:39:00.000+01:00

I am 61% Internet Addict.

I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!

Take the
Internet Addict Test
@ FualiDotCom

1 in 22,106

2006-04-13T01:38:00.000+01:00

Hey, my lucky numbers came up! Just a £49 win, but that's only the second time we've had more than a tenner since the National Lottery started. My son (maths degree) lectures me on the lousy odds, but I reckon the odds of winning pots of money have to be higher if you buy a ticket than if you don't, right?

Nice end to a rotten day :-)

This is wrong

2006-04-12T02:35:00.000+01:00

Why has this man been sent to prison?

I'm aware of the legal position.

The law is an ass.

something fishy

2006-04-06T21:38:00.000+01:00

I didn't want to get drawn in, I really didn't....
(but I compromised by naming it after my sandals!)
Feed teva by tipping some food into the tank. Then go & play with Braquers :-)

adopt your own virtual pet!

Another Ginger blogpost...

2006-04-02T01:37:00.000+01:00

Found a kindred spirit on Blogger :-)

Also a cool collection of photos from andy_b & a videoclip (38Mb though, so it needs patience...). See Conny strut his stuff & then 6 minutes in, S-S-Sonic Shake :-)

Yes, I know. Back to the real world soon......

Ouch!

2006-03-31T03:46:00.000+01:00

That's not just my reaction to the BBC's dreadfully punning title, either.

Singing in the pain

Read it & flinch (especially if you're a bloke!)

That's Conny, not Connie

2006-03-29T15:46:00.000+01:00

Conny Bloom is the guitarist with Ginger and the Sonic Circus. That would explain all those odd hits Google kept coming up with!
Here they are, anyway:

Conny used to play with The Electric Boys & Hanoi Rocks.
Couple of links here:
MySpace
Homepage
Suppose I ought to be studying, really............

Those nice young men....

2006-03-29T03:26:00.000+01:00

Here they are:

http://www.cremaster.org.uk/Frameset.htm

Only they didn't have that body paint on last night.

Actually we ran into them (not literally... we stepped aside!) beforehand, not realising who they were - we thought they were probably headed to a punk gig further up the road. Apparently they were on Channel 4's Human Canvas not long ago.

Strangely fascinating :-)

Ginger Rocks!

2006-03-28T03:47:00.000+01:00

Been back from Nottingham for hours & head's still full of music :-)

The Ginger gig was all I'd hoped for & more. For a start, it had moved to a smaller venue, so it was Joseph's Well over again, like they were playing for a bunch of friends (which we are...). But instead of being halfway back, we were three feet from the stage - bliss!

Stood politely through the first support act (rather strange) because that's what Ginger's fans do... stood fascinated through the second support, feeling worryingly unsqueamish as the two nice young men stuck bits of metal through themselves, while a woman of restricted growth (is that the right term?) wandered round the stage in a gasmask (well, it was Ginger and the Sonic Circus).

Ginger's main set was amazing. Two full hours of blistering happy bittersweet rock - they were never going to get through the whole of Valor del Corazon, but we had a rich selection, some banter & jamming, & a glorious 29x the Pain for any old Wildhearts fans (ie 95% of the audience) while the two nice young men popped back to have smoke blown through their heads...OK, you had to be there :-)

Must note the eye candy in the form of Swedish lead guitarist Connie Bloom, sporting Jack Sparrow style beaded dreadlocks....

Age just didn't matter. Ginger made some throwaway remarks about how even Grans are signing up to his MySpace site now, but there were old be-leathered rockers & barely-legals, all united through a common love of this man's music.

(Mind you, they say you're as young as the (wo)man you're feeling, but I'll spare you the antics of one of my companions!!)

You either "get" Ginger, or you don't, but if you do, you're probably hooked for life.
Who else could belt out a lyric like "There's a smell, and I can tell, it's the stench of a lonely man, rotting inside of his shell" & lift a roomful of people into sheer joy?

Cheers, Ginger :-)

Vodka & Red Bull

2006-03-27T01:19:00.000+01:00

Seems to be what they're consuming in the BBC News Online office! "Red Bull 'masks alcoholic effect'" it says...

Here's a normal quote, as used on their pages:

Here's the one in this article:

Hic!

Phew!

2006-03-25T03:03:00.000Z

Well, got my first H806 assignment submitted at 23.29 on cut-off day (what is it I'm always telling my students about not leaving it till the last minute?!). To be fair, I had submitted it at teatime, then realised something I'd missed out. The experience has been interesting, to say the least..... even found myself missing the good old essays that provoked so many expletives on previous courses. At least I know what an academic essay is supposed to look like!

The course designers clearly expected this to be a traumatic experience - instead of the "reading week" or "writing week" that many other OU courses provide for students to complete their TMAs, this one has a recovery week after the TMA!

Random Story Generator

2006-03-20T00:59:00.000Z

Stumbled across this one whilst researching for my H806 TMA (no, really...) & just had to share. You too can be a Surreal Creative Writer!

The funny glass

One day there was a nicotine-stained keyboard. The nicotine-stained keyboard was quite content to live in a ashtray and eat mountains.
Suddenly, there was a fluffy knocking sound coming from the brandy. The keyboard jumped in fright. It decided to shiver to the cloud, and got there just in time to see a funny glass standing there! The glass waved a tenacious phone and the keyboard turned into a grey dictionary. One quite unable to blink!
The glass shimmered and disappeared, leaving a few bubbles in its place. The dictionary picked up the bubbles and popped one into her ear. The gift of speech befell the dictionary, who exclaimed,
"What a original day! I think I shall pick people!"
Off went the grey dictionary, bouncily running and skipping, finally tripping on a pedantic happiness and toppling headlong into a nicotine-stained smoke. Needless to say, it succumbed to a warm-hearted death.
The moral of this story?
If you are thinking of becoming a keyboard, never open a cloud until you are sure there is no funny glass lying in wait.
Above all, live melodramatically. The people you eat may be your last!

Busy girl!

2006-03-10T23:20:00.000Z

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned on my other blog that daughter #3 was taking part in a learning workshop with the BAAT's Roy Paget. This event has been reported in the school's newsletter.

This week she was also part of the award-winning stage crew in the local heats of Rock Challenge.

She'll probably be mad if she sees this post.......

Blogs under threat

2006-03-05T16:25:00.000Z

I'n blogging this here, because it's far too important to be tucked away in the academic discussions on my H806 blog.
Thanks to my fellow student Lesley for finding this.

Will Richardson, self-styled "blogvangelist" & promoter of blogs & similar internet technology for enriching classroom learning*, reports a very disturbing development in some USA school districts. School networks been blocked from accessing any material on blogs - where pupils were publishing their projects, interacting with fellow pupils around the world, having fun while they learned together in a way that prepared them for the 21st century world.

Not only that, but it seems the ban extends to any site that's 'within three clicks of a porn site'. As Richardson comments, all this does is demonstrate the ignorance of those issuing the rules, since Google gets you there in two...

Have a look at the unfolding story & see if it makes you gape in disbelief the way it did me.

I've been shut down
The "3 click rule" challenge
It gets worse

So here we are, on the verge of a revolution in communication & learning, & the next generation is being shut out of it? In the land of the free? Yeah, right.

*Here's a UK-based project of his:
Back from Britain

Pension update update :-)

2006-02-24T22:48:00.000Z

Anyone who has been following the saga will be pleased to know that Alan is now a pensioner! Not that he has retired, really - he'll still be doing all his exam work - but he'll never need to set foot inside a classroom again or sit dreading the phone ringing...
What's more, they've backdated it to 9th December, which is when it should have started anyway, before NEL messed it up.
I do love a happy ending :-)

Not waving, but drowning...

2006-02-21T23:34:00.000Z

Kat's posts last month about Kirkham Baths really stirred some memories! So much so, that when my course wanted me to write about a "memorable learning experience" I decided to exorcise a demon by putting it out into the public domain.

So here's what happened at Kirkham Baths, one day in autumn 1964.

Out of my depth

I was 11, a shy overweight child. It was our first school trip to the baths (public pool) for a swimming lesson. I’d never been to the baths before. We all got changed & anyone who couldn’t swim was asked to sit on the side, at the shallow end. There was only me. Along came a teacher (not our regular one). “What are you doing? Come on! Into the water with you!” So I hoisted myself off the edge & into the water… & under the water, as my legs - completely unexpectedly - went from under me. The thrashing, splashing terror seemed to last a long, long time, till a classmate came & helped me stand upright. I was crying in shock & confusion, extremely embarrassed as everyone was staring, & my knee was bleeding.
That day, I learned about buoyancy. I didn’t learn to swim until I was 18.

Why it was memorable

I remember this vividly over forty years later, because it was such a frightening & humiliating public experience.

Ginger live

2006-02-20T02:14:00.000Z

A Ginger fan who went to the first promotional gig for Valor del Corazon has posted up 12 glorious minutes of Ginger live....

Thanks to HazeofPink for bringing this to my attention - roll on Rock City!

poetic nonsense

2006-02-12T04:33:00.000Z

Thanks to Morning for this link to the poem generator. It's a darn sight easier than A215!

My Love
Your skin glows like the pomegranate, blossoms fickle as the bluebell
in the purest hope of spring.
My heart follows your euphonium voice and leaps like a mangabey
at the whisper of your name.
The evening floats in on a great robin wing.
I am comforted by your knickers that I carry into the twilight of effortbeams
and hold next to my thumb.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of brandy.
As my toenail falls from my cardigan, it reminds me of your misery.
In the quiet, I listen for the last squeak of the day.
My heated lips leap to my footwear.
I wait in the moonlight for your secret papers
so that we may moderate as one, lips to lips,
in search of the magnificient blue and mystical glass of love.

Material Girl

2006-02-05T03:56:00.000Z

Got this one from Nog.

You scored as Materialist. Materialism stresses
the essence of fundamental particles. Everything
that exists is purely physical matter and there is no
special force that holds life together. You believe
that anything can be explained by breaking it up
into its pieces. i.e. the big picture can be understood
by its smaller elements.

Modernist

88%

Materialist

88%

Postmodernist

81%

Romanticist

63%

Cultural Creative

56%

Existentialist

44%

Idealist

19%

Fundamentalist

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

More on Joan Ross

2006-01-31T03:41:00.000Z

I hear the launch went very well, with contributions from many people who'd touched Joan's life & those whose lives she'd touched in turn. Almost a "This is your Life" show!
Here's another review:

Description:`As well as being of interest to educators, Joan Ross's autobiography would be would be worth including as a text for pupils following citizenship curriculum in secondary schools' - SENCO Update
Joan is an adult with cerebral palsy who grew up when compulsory education was not in place for all children. Her memories of her childhood before inclusion, her development as a teenager and her adult life are chronicled without sentiment and this book offers the reader an autobiography of someone who lives with a significant disability.
The book is supported by SCOPE who have provided an introduction and informative commentary about cerebral palsy.
The book is of general interest and offers information and inspiration to Scope members and those whose lives are touched by CP.

Pension update

2006-01-31T03:28:00.000Z

So Alan got impatient at not hearing about his pension....
Phoned the pensions people - 'Oh, we don't have any paperwork for you from your LEA. Try your LEA'. This is North-East Lincs, recently slagged off in the national press as England's least efficient authority.
Phoned NEL - 'Oh, we thought you were retiring at Easter. No we've not lost your form' [rustle rustle] 'I have it right here. Would you like me to send it off?'
This from the people who told him not to fill in a date, because the pensions office would put that on, when they received the form - aarrgghh!!
Good job he's been marking exams, & I've been doing 18-hour days for the OU, otherwise we could have been out on the street starving, for all they cared.
It makes me very angry.

I Can't Walk but I Can Crawl

2006-01-29T23:53:00.000Z

That's the title of an autobiographical book by Joan Ross, who has cerebral palsy.
The book has its official launch on Monday, supported by the actress Linda Bellingham (the Oxo Mum) & our very own Having My Say.

HMS pays this tribute:

Joan is an amazing woman who has written about her life and how she has got to where she is today. I met her in 1986 and she has always been an inspiration to me.

Quiz for the rich & powerful (maybe)

2006-01-19T23:52:00.000Z

See if you have "the real-world skills necessary for business" - like buying & selling £225,000 yachts & haggling with the Lebanese government (yeah, right - whose real life was that again?) Are you a sheep or a donkey or an owl? Or a fox like me?

Negotiation quiz

Four Things

2006-01-16T01:05:00.000Z

Yes, this is different from "43 Things"! I've been if not tagged, as near as dammit, by Nogbad, while my back was turned, so here's tonight's assignment :-)

Four jobs you've had in your life:
Checkout operator at Preston's first supermarket; telephone receptionist at the DHSS as it was then; car park attendant (in a silly uniform, for Preston Guild 1972); OU tutor. Guess which one I like best?

Four movies you could watch over and over:
Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid; Star Wars (the original); Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl; Ed Wood (only seen that once, yet, but immediately wanted to watch it again)

Four places you've lived:
Preston, Hull, Bordeaux, Grimsby. Hmm, spot the odd one out!

Four places you've been on holiday:
Machynlleth, Brittany, Scotland, Denmark

Four websites you visit daily:
BBC News Online, Fund Free Mammograms, Google, multi-way tie for the 4th place between several bookmarked blogs!

Four TV shows you love to watch:
F1 Grand Prix in season is about the only one I make an effort for - I'm not a great TV viewer. I've had to give up Eastenders (far too addictive) & nearly got hooked on Charmed when it coincided with Saturday night pizzas. Footy, but only when it's Euro or World Cup.

Four of your favourite foods:
hot-smoked salmon, croque-monsieur, black pudding (proper Bury links, not that plastic supermarket muck), kedgeree. All good artery-blocking stuff :-)

Four places you'd rather be:
Vigsø Bugt, Oban, a tidier version of where I am now, um that's about it, really.

Four albums you can't live without: (this week!)
The Wildhearts must be destroyed (Wildhearts), Death of a Ladies Man (Leonard Cohen), Valor del Corazon (Ginger), Duluth Does Dylan (various)

That took a long time!!

My Trip

2006-01-15T23:24:00.000Z

So the OU wanted me to help run a briefing for new online tutors, which I could only attend if I stayed overnight. The briefing didn't bother me at all (such is progress!) but the prospect of travelling alone to a hotel turned me into a gibbering wreck. (I'm not exaggerating - Alan had to make the booking because I couldn't pick up the phone.) In mitigation, the last time I went to a hotel on my own was in 1973, & I've hardly ever been with other people, either.

Anyway, when I got back home, I exorcised the experience by typing madly ( a therapy I developed a few years ago!) & thought I'd copy it here by way of further getting it out of my system. Only the names have been changed, to protect the innocent :-)
-------------------

As [she] says, if you get stuck it's possible to ask someone, with the possible exception of finding yourself hopelessly lost in some out of the way corner of the OU campus that doesn't appear on the map you've been given, it's drizzling, you're lugging your overnight bag round with you & there is absolutely nobody around to ask! I toyed with walking back to the hotel & ordering a taxi, because I know my way from where the taxis set down! Eventually I managed to attract the attention of a security guard by banging on a window LOL Apparently I was supposed to be round the corner, over the roundabout & up the road, or some such, so I trudged off in the direction of his waving arms & got there over half an hour after I'd said I would be there (but not late for the meeting). This nice young lass sat me down & brought me a cup of coffee - she turned out (when I'd calmed down enough to get her name badge in focus) to be the new Course Chair!!!

Survived the rest of it, including not knowing how to get out of MK station (never having encountered a railway ticket barrier before) so I went & asked a policeman, who promptly drew my attention to the prominent No Smoking notices I'd not even seen after I lit up having seen several fellow-travellers do the same... I now know you can smoke on the platforms, but not on the stairs or concourse (whereas at Birmingham you can't smoke on either & in all the other railway stations I know, you can smoke on both).

Then got into a scared flap about getting into a taxi in the dark & had to walk up & down for a while psyching myself up (there is actually a reason for that, unlike most of my silly phobic bits & bobs). Then paying the fare was a horrible fumbling business (some of you have seen my lack of public purse manipulation skills!) followed by the deep breath required to actually walk into the hotel & up to the reception desk... every little thing was a swirl of mental torment!! Do I want a wake up call? 'yes i do but what time do i want it omigod i've got to do sums here & work backwards from 9.45 to omigod how long do i need to eat breakfast & what if there's a queue & I'll need to allow for checking out time as well & do i want the call before or after my own alarm goes off & what time will that be anyway & how long will it take me to walk from here to the OU & omigod i've got to say something soon or she'll think i'm deaf & what was the number i first thought of?' (etc.). When they asked if I wanted a newspaper I cut the process short by saying no thanks LOL

Collapsed exhausted in my room (once I'd worked out that you have to stick your door key into a socket on the wall to make the power come on, otherwise the light switches don't work, & of course you can't see what you're supposed to do because the door has slammed shut behind you & there are, by definition, no lights....). Seriously considered ordering food in my room, but was buggered if I was going to pay an extra £3.50 "tray charge" just because I was too much of a wimp to go back downstairs & walk into a bar on my own & go up & order food. Cheated by downing a quick brandy (brought a little bottle with me in case I needed to hide away & drink myself to sleep) & very very slowly approached the bar & ordered a beer because I couldn't see any sign of the promised 24 hour bar snacks... wandered up & down & around self-consciously sipping my beer until I found a very small menu card, hidden behind a wine list... then realised I couldn't read it without my specs & went into fumble mode again. ordered it & did inscrutable things with my "key card" ( a folded up bit of paper with my signature on & the room number, which is supposed to act as currency, except that sometimes I only had to flash it & other times I had to sign something else as well). Hung around the bar waiting for my beef & chutney wrap to appear, but was told it would be brought to my table, so I went & found a table for one - I did carefully scrutinise the people at other tables in case they looked likely to be OU people, then I might (just might) summon up the courage to go & introduce myself, but they were all either family groups with grandma & the kids (the sort of impeccably-behaved designer-clad kids you don't see in the real world, well, not in Grimsby!) or else couples attached to each other by the eyes & speaking body language across the tables.

Settled myself in a corner & was promptly engulfed by a "function": blokes in dickie bows, towing women in glittery frocks, all posturing & preening & haw-hawing & there's me in my jeans & cardy with a fag & a beer waiting for a butty... after about half an hour they all trooped off following some guy in a kilt & funny socks, so I ventured up to the bar again, to be told that my food would be ready "soon". Bought another beer & took it to a table much nearer the bar, where I could throw reproachful glances in the direction of the staff every couple of minutes, & my "wrap" suddenly appeared from the opposite direction. Not so much a sandwich as a heap of beef slices skewered together with some kind of soggy carbohydrate product top & bottom, dripping mayo & runny chutney & everything falling out of the sides - are you mean to eat it with a knife & fork or with your fingers? Managed to navigate most of it to my mouth by fair means or foul, losing none onto my lap in the process & only admitting defeat on the plastic gristle (sandwich beef never had plastic gristle in my day). Was very glad the corporate haw-haws were by now lurching in & out to the bar in silly paper hats & the other bar occupants were fully wrapped up in each other, as there was no way I could have managed conversation as well, & escaped back to my room asap. Perversely, I felt faintly cheated that I'd made the effort to go down & then found nobody I could strike up a conversation with!

Exchanged a couple of texts with hazeofpink (thanks h!), rang home to tell daughter #3 I was having an early night, then daydreamer phoned me up!! (thanks d!). Played with the keyboard since it was stamped with "only works with this hotel TV set" so I assumed it was meant to do something & briefly thought it might even give me access to tv internet, but couldn't make it do anything. Read the instructions on the broadband modem & located the cable hanging up in a plastic bag in the wardrobe (?!) but at £15 a night for connection, was glad I'd not borrowed a laptop. Had a brandy, clocking up a grossly inflated £1.65 for a tiny bottle of mineral water from the minibar cunningly concealed in the dressing table - would never have found it if I'd not gone round nosily opening everything to see if they still put Gideons Bibles in hotel rooms LOL (They don't.) Felt disinclined to pay for it, but there was a price list that threatened to subtract unspecified amounts of money from your credit card if you failed to settle up properly on checking out (we have your credit card details! Do not mess with us!!).

Flicked through all the channels on the TV - all five of them plus the option of paying another unspecified amount of money to watch a blockbuster or an "adult movie" - like that's going to make you feel better when you're stuck in a hotel room on your own! Pressed the Teletext button thinking I could at least catch up with the news... "NO TELETEXT" dsplayed in bright blue on all five channels. Had another brandy. Sent Alan a text. Pressed the Radio button & listened to some cheesy dance music from the Ministry of Sound via MK Radio something or other, hoping this wasn't going to be deducted from my credit card, too. Listened several times to their self-referential advert about wanting to employ someone to sell advertising time - since that's all they were advertising, it was obviously badly needed.
Got bored. Went to bed. Got up again & played Goldilocks with the lighting arrangements (This one's too bright. This one's too dark. This one would be perfect but the bulb's gone.)

Fell asleep eventually, after the impeccable kids had fnished their decidedly unimpeccable chasing each other noisily up & down the corridors. Woke once & remembered not to turn on the light on in the loo as it activates an annoyingly whiny extractor fan that carries on for 5 minutes afterwards. At 8.22 my mobile went & I peered blurrily at a picture of "sunrise over Gran Canaria" (thanks h!) once I'd worked out that it wasn't my alarm going off. At 8.25 my alarm did go off, just as I was trying to deactivate it. At 8.30 my wake up call came in. Horrified at how loud the phone was, I crossed the bedroom in one stride, grabbed the receiver & said "Thanks" in what I hoped was a simultaneously bright, cheery & grateful voice. "Good morning. This is an automated message," the phone went. "Press any key if you would like this message repeating in ten minutes time." Well, how was I to know it was a bloody machine?!!

Muddled my way through breakfast & checking out in much the same way as the rest of the stay, then set out in plenty of time for the short stroll to campus...

The meeting was fine! Best bit of the day? Being approached by a course manager who last met me two years ago when I did my first "national event" (though we've been in frequent email contact ever since) & said "I cannot believe this is the same Lynne Dixon! You look different, you sound different, you act different, but I know it's you. What happened?"

You know what? I feel different, too! :-)

Cool connection!

2006-01-12T02:42:00.000Z

Last month I blogged about Dr David Otway's photos of the Buncefield fire, as an interesting manifestation of User Generated content. Tonight David has posted a comment, explaining how his photo opportunity came about.

He started his own blog - Informatics, Chemistry & Life in General but never went back after that spider photo..... pity!

A bit of history!

2006-01-12T00:55:00.000Z

No, not the A103 Marwick sort...

I've just missed the anniversary by an hour or so, but on 11th January 1973, the very first OU students graduated. In its first two years, the OU had grown to 40,000 students, & now it has 200,000!

Full story here, on the BBC's "On this day" feature. Pity they've disabled the readers' comments.

Just over five years later, I joined the OU & I'm still here :-)

Menzies

2006-01-10T16:44:00.000Z

One drawback of getting 99% of your news from the web is that you end up not knowing how things are pronounced. I'd read that Menzies Campbell, the potential new Liberal leader, is known as "Ming", but assumed it to be a nickname based on some perceived resemblance to Flash Gordon's merciless emperor. I really had no idea until a chance conversation yesterday that Menzies Campbell was Mingis Campbell - though at least I knew the last bit is Camble, not Camp-Bell :-)
Anyway, along comes the BBC with one of its helpful pages to explain exactly why Menzies is Mingis. Sometimes.

Why is Menzies pronounced Mingis?

Seems it's down to a yogh (pronounced yog) which bears a remarkable resemblance to one of those curly z things that once caused my daughter to ask why the playschool teacher wrote her name as "Eli-three-abeth".

On being inconsistent

2006-01-10T02:13:00.000Z

So I don't want to declare any intentions on 43 Things, & reiterate that on the first day of the new year....

What's this in aid of, then, hmm?

Maybe it's the brandy talking? Nah, can't be. I'm drinking up the rum sauce rum tonight.

CD Baby

2006-01-10T01:26:00.000Z

I don't normally do advertising, but this US company has really impressed me.

Following up my obscure musical tastes, I ordered a CD from them simply because nobody else stocked it, & fell in love with their cool approach to web selling.

An extract from their auto-acknowledgement:

Thanks for your order with CD Baby!

This is just a happy automated email to let you know a real person
will email you as soon as your package is sent, and you will also
receive a paper receipt with your order in the mail.

Here's what the real person says:

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with
sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure
it was in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over
the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money
can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party
marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of
Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in
our private CD Baby jet on this day, Wednesday, December 28th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did.
Your picture is on our wall as 'Customer of the Year'. We're all
exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you once again,

Derek Sivers, president, CD Baby

Sure, they say that to all their customers, but how many retailers take the trouble to compose something like that? They call themselves "CD Baby, the cutest little record store on the web" & I'm inclined to agree :-)

What's more, the package came through my door on 3rd January, the first delivery day after the holiday.

Even the followup was sweet:

Lynne -
Did you get your CD OK?
Was everything perfect?

If you liked a CD you bought, please write a little review on the
musician's CD Baby page? Just click the link below, and scroll to
the bottom of the page. You'll see where it says, "WRITE A REVIEW".
It only takes a minute and would mean a lot to the artists.

So I did! :-)

How did they know?

2006-01-09T21:45:00.000Z

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.

At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.

When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.

In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.

Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.

You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

West Coaster

2006-01-09T02:10:00.000Z

Found this blog by an AZX103er the other night. Jolly entertaining it is, too, even if he does have a tendency to slag off his tutor (LOL!).
It's OK, he's not one of mine :-)

Summer holiday booked!

2006-01-05T15:48:00.000Z

In August, four of us are off to sunny-but-we-hope-not-too-hot Belgium, just for a change. I've booked 11 days at the Molenheide holiday park in east Flanders (Limburg province) so we can also "do" Holland & maybe a bit of Germany.

This is the holiday & this is Molenheide.

It'll be our first time through the Eurotunnel, too :-)

Dept of bleedin obvious switches to overtime

2006-01-03T15:48:00.000Z

Well, who would have thought it? Another in an occasional series....

In a dramatic revelation from the BBC, we learn that Swedish researchers have discovered that people get more satisfaction from working hard towards a goal than from lazing on the beach.

British experts have announced that they agree. Amongst their more insightful observations:

Hard work is satisfying, but only if it suits you.

Relationships can also have a significant impact.

Wow!

Welcome 2006

2006-01-01T21:02:00.000Z

This is the time of year when most of us indulge in a spot of navel-gazing, if it's only to root out some of the grottier bits of fluff & dead skin that've accumulated there since last time.

Kat is looking for a new handle, & Nog has a spot of bum-biting lined up :-)

I've already declared my distaste for public wishing, so nobody will be expecting me to publish a bulleted list of objectives. But I do have a few ideas up my sleeve....

Snow

2005-12-29T23:06:00.000Z

A little late, but just to show we had some :-)

Our snowy lawn, taken by Claire.

Not being intellectual tonight

2005-12-28T23:00:00.000Z

Current reading is pure indulgence.

There are chocolates, too.
Well, we all deserve a night off :-)

Getting to the bottom of it

2005-12-28T14:18:00.000Z

A Scottish university is undertaking a serious academic research project to help us predict the answer to that burning question: "Does my bum look big in this?".

Four female models with various sized bottoms will wear different types of clothing as part of the research.

I'm not making this up.

Just one more...

2005-12-28T02:25:00.000Z

Festive political correctness, DeadBrain style.

Probably time I switched from leftover 2003 Cuvee Picheral Vin de Pays du Gard, to Asda Dry Tickly Cough Syrup Dextromethorphan Pharmacy Only Orange Flavour, & tried for the novelty of a night's sleep. Expectorants are all very well, but personally I find it tricky to nod off in the middle of expectorating.

Deadbrain does it again!

2005-12-28T02:14:00.000Z

Devastatingly funny take on the current climatic conditions:

Food stocks, petrol supply, life to expire in Kent within hours

Geordies consider wearing outer clothing reports

New government dossier: Iran to blame for frozen onslaught

SPECIAL COVERAGE: How Britain is coping with snow